Archaeologist: "So anyway, I met A.K. Yearlings at the book fair, and told her about how much I loved her stories..."
Skeleton:"WHO DARES DISTURB THE ETERNAL REST OF - ?"
[The archaeologist, a unicorn, bashes in the haunted skeleton's skull in with a brick before it could finish, then continued talking to his colleague as if nothing happened]
Archaeologist: "... she seemed a bit on the shy side - can't blame her, being a recluse and all - so I thought I could scare her a bit by telling her about the time in Zebrica, when we were attacked by a swarm of giant spiders, nesting in the tomb we happened to be digging out..."
Skeleton:"THOU SEEK TO EARN THE IRE OF THE HONORED DEAD - ?!"
[The skeleton was interrupted again when the unicorn magically pulled out the sword stabbed into its back, and chopped the skeleton in half with a swing]
Archaeologist: "... Strangely, she doesn't seemed to be fazed in the slightest by my little horror story. In fact, she remarked something about that sort of thing being an 'occupational hazard'..."
Skeleton:"ENOUGH! NOW THOU SHALT KNOW THE WRATH OF - !!!"
[Whatever the skeleton says died in its non-existent throat as the archaeologist uses her magic to collapse a section of ceiling on it, crushing the animated undead to dust]
Archaeologist: "... 'Occupational hazard'? I expected bad weather, or cave-ins, or grave-robbing bandits, but giant spiders? That's only something Daring Do goes through in the books. Never expected that to happen to me in a thousand years..."
"Oh! I heard about that! Wait...wasn't there a crazy griffon witch or something controlling the mummies? I've heard everything from her being the reincarnated daughter of some ancient Pharaoh, to her just being some poor kid in over her head---heard that you, ah...FED her to her own mummies....that didn't really happen, did it?"
"Oh, about that; she was a spoiled rich brat who dabbled with sorcery as a hobby, and delude herself into thinking she's a reincarnated Anubian princess to justify her own sense of entitlement. And no, I didn't feed her to her own mummies - they fed on her themselves once I broke the talisman she's using to control them, and then went back to being dead and mummified. They're currently on display in the Republic of Anubia National Museum, I think..."
O_O "Remind me not to make you mad... Anyway, let's just get that scepter and get out of this temple. This place reminds me of that fiasco in Istanbull. Ugh, I'm STILL picking gems outta my teeth after that..."
"... Again? Well, bollocks. Hang on, let me send a mail to pest control - that Zebra witch-doctor from the Everfree, she knows how to talk to spirits from the other side. Really, how come every one dig out of three ends up with me getting haunted by restless ghosts?"